I’ve been wanting a night alone
I’d remembered how comforting it was
To be alone
Just me
and the furkids
Before you came

Before you came
Into my life

But last night I dropped you off
At another house
Another world
And when I got home
I enjoyed the first few hours

But now it’s 9 am
9 am and I realize

It isn’t home
Any longer
Unless you are here

I’ve lived with enough cats over the years to have a good idea what they are thinking or feeling by looking at them or hearing their meows. Some stares mean “feed me” and some mean “look at me because I’m pretending to ignore you” and some mean “just pet me and let’s be done with it”. Some purrs mean “I’m happy and content” and some mean “you own me” while others mean “I own you, don’t kid yourself.”

But what about Fu Manchu? I wonder what he thinks. He’s mostly feral. I say “mostly” because he’ll let me pet him and he’ll let Mad pick him up. Mad doesn’t often get to just pet Fu though, so apparently I’ve won his heart…well, sorta. And Mad only gets to pick him up if Fu is in the mood to be trapped and once picked up, he has to be immediately put into the cat submissive pose of being on his back. (that’s the trick folks, btw…..have a cat that is too dominant? pick him up and flip him on his back and force him to stay that way…it’s the feline servant position) I wonder what Fu thinks. Actually, I wonder what he thinks on a daily basis. He’ll sit and look at me, but when I walk his way, he’ll sashay away….as soon as I’m in touching distance of his long tail, he’ll run….but he doesn’t always. I don’t know if he wants me to catch him or not. I’ll wake up in the middle of the night to find him on the bed with us and sometimes I can reach out and pet him but most of the time when he realizes I’m awake and looking at him, he’ll do the feline “oh shit!” maneuver of jumping straight into the air, twisting his body so he lands on the floor and flees.

I managed to approach him this evening. He was curled up on a blanket in the bedroom and chose not to run when I walked in. I scratched his ears and ran my nails down his back. (I think he only puts up with me because I have fingernails) It took 2 minutes of him looking half scared before he stuck his chin out in the feline “scratch me there” move and only then did he start to purr. He’s mostly feral. What does he think???? Really?? Sometimes I think he wants attention but is too afraid to seek it. Other times, I think he’s a typical cat and just teases the humans. But mainly, I don’t think his brain operates like the other cats.

Fu was the test that Mad set for me to pass when we first started out. I’d gone to Mad’s house and he picked Fu up and said “if you can hold him for at least 30 seconds, you’re a keeper.” I held him. He’s long haired, beautiful, black and white tuxedo….he could be a cover model in the cat world. I held him and looked into his eyes. Most cats have a calm look in their eyes…the domestic ones almost have a human look even though they aren’t human. Fu’s eyes just looked wild to me that night. His eyes said “I’d scratch out your eyes and claw you to death if you just gave me the chance”…and even without giving him the chance, he’d probably still do it. Fu’s eyes look constantly scared and more than a little mean. Mad said “Fu is ok with people until he realizes that they aren’t cats.” Maybe that explains how I can crawl on all fours to pet him when he’s under the coffee table.

He hasn’t ever clawed me. Yet, a few weeks ago, Mad, Fu’s main human, tried to pick him up and wound up bleeding all up and down his arms. And still, Fu will let me pet him….scratch his ears and feel his fur. While I feel special to be allowed such generous access, I wonder why he lets me and not others? When guests are in the house, he hides…..he finds the farthest out of reach spot under the bed and stays there until all the strange voices leave. And once he hears only me and Mad talking, he’ll saunter into the living room, plop down in the middle of the floor and give us a look that seems to say “I’ve been here the entire time, where were you?” But, he doesn’t mean it. He’s ferocious and he’s brave…..strange that he’s such a scaredy cat on top of it.

I actually think that Fu Manchu is better than a watch dog. Heaven help the person who would break into the house and scare him. 80 percent of the time, he looks ready for battle…always alert for the slightest move. Ready to claw until blood runs loose.

Fu is my cat now. I’m 90 percent sure he even likes me even if I only get to pet him one day every two weeks. He lets me get close and sometimes I even get to feel his fur, the reward. But what does he think? Does he dream of wide open spaces and chasing down rabbits? Does he dream of wide open skys and no laws? Does he laugh to himself while recalling the vet telling Mad “he’s not feral if you can hold him….put him on the table and he’ll be fine” after which the vet agreed that Fu really was feral after bandaging himself up? Does he think about running away and hunting for his food? Does he wish he were elsewhere? Somewhere besides a house with 8 other cats (most of whom he seems to get along with…he and Dobie have actually gotten sorta friendly with one another, they touch noses without hissing…and Spirit, who’s in love with him and follows him all over the house)? Somewhere where there are rabbits to take down and birds to stalk? Or is he happy here? With us? Happy to be sometimes/rarely paid attention to, as long as he’s in a good mood? What does he think? Does Fu think we are aliens or monsters or human pets? Does he love us? Or even like us?

What does the feral cat think?

We see his sister/cousin (Mad isn’t sure if Xerox is Fu’s sister or his cousin) and we sometimes see Fu’s brother walking the streets in St. E. Always, we see the brother across the street….he’s similar to Fu in looks……long hair, black, white, a tail worthy of being a dust mop….Xerox is white, with black spots? Don’t know for sure because she won’t come close enough during the day…..but Xerox will see us at the house and she knows that food sometimes appears there. She knows and brother knows that food gets left on the front porch when she and he are sighted…..the food is gone within hours. I’ve come within 2 feet of Xerox before, but didn’t know it until it was too late. She was perched on top of the fence watching me feed Whimsey and it wasn’t until I turned and realized she was there that she jumped down and ran. Fu will sometimes let us touch him. Xerox will only allow us within 2 feet, as long as the fence seperates us…she’ll sit calmly and watch through the fence without a flinch until the fence seems to not be a shield…Fu’s brother….well, he stays far away…no chance to get a good look at him, much less an ear rub.

What does the feral cat think?

“How did you get manage to catch Fu?”
“I didn’t. I opened the door one day and he ran inside. He’s been with me ever since.”

I’m guessing he ran inside because fright confused his sense of direction. I wonder if he’s glad he made the wrong choice? Does he think it was the right direction after all? Gotta wonder….

We met my folks for dinner. It was great! Daddy and Mad made fun of me, my Mom and I talked to each other when those two started talking computer gibberish, and the four of us had a good time.

When talking to my Mom on the phone last night she said “we have something for ya’ll!”. I asked her what it was and she said “I’m not telling you! It’s a secret!”….we talk about something else and then she says (back to the secret) “you can change it out…I picked what I liked so if you want different ones, that’s ok” I asked again what it was…….we go back and forth, between what the secret gift is and other conversation topics. She finally tells me. Sweet, Sweet, Sweet!! Love it! I knew Mad would love it too. We had handed out discs of our wedding pictures and she went through, picked ones she liked, had them printed and organized a mini album for us (I call it a pocket album but I don’t know what it really is….). It’s black felt with a silver metal front with XOXO on it…plus, she bought a beautiful silver frame for an 8×10 and put a picture of us in that too. After I got off the phone with her, I told Mad the folks wanted us to meet them for dinner and they had a gift for us. I said “Momma can’t keep secrets so I know what it is.” He asked me what it was and I said “I can keep a secret so I’m not telling.” In retrospect, it was a mistake to tell Mad they had a surprise for us at all because I spent the next 6 hours with him doing a ‘Ron Weasley asking Hermione who she was going to the ball with’ impersonation…..every so often, he randomly asked what they had for us hoping I’d tell him.

After dinner, my Dad headed for Chickamauga and we drove my Mom to St E to meet Pepper for the first time. I chained the gate after we walked in so Mad could let Pepper into the front yard for Momma. Talk about a PERFORMANCE!!! She yipped, yipped, yippee kiyayed her way at a run into the front yard……she licked Mad on her way out of the gate, ran full steam at me and right before she got to me, she realized there was a new woman standing in front of me….she literally did a cartoon skid, turn around so she could run at Momma and proceeded to jump on her and lick her to death. Needless to say, I think Momma likes her new grandchild…I meant, grandfurkid. :)

Momma and I left Mad to do more work in the kitchen and headed to FloorMart in Tiftonia. I really like that Walmart…..I’m still not used to the layout because it’s different from my regular 2 stores, but the people that work there are super friendly and it just feels more comfy than the other ones. We shopped, headed back to the house, played with Pepper and Momma finally got up enough nerve to pet Whimsey. The last time she met Whimsey, he was still on a chain so she stood mostly out of his reach. He’s not on a chain anymore so when he stood up with his paws on the gate and his head even to mine, she finally had the nerve to pet him on the head. He was lolling his tongue and doing that goofy dog smile at me as he looked me in the eyes….I think him being so obviously happy was good enough for her. I told her that D doesn’t think Whimsey is as big as Mad and I make out. She said “REALLY?” I pointed out that it was at night and he was on all fours for the most part when she saw him. Momma basically said the equivalant of ‘Whimsey is a big damn dog’…but my mother would never say “damn” unless she was angry. lol

Once Mom, Mad and me all got in the car and were headed out, Mad told us that we could have gone and seen his brother while we were in Trenton today. “What are you talking about?” Turns out, brother in law is back in jail…he had a probation violation on the records and got stopped because of his tags so they hauled him off……….again. Like I said, just an average Tuesday.

Momma: “Why do you have a box of matches in your glove box?”
Me: “Mad says every car should have some so he put them there.”
Momma: “Why???”
Me: “Because he thinks I might get stranded on the side of the road and suddenly feel the urge to start a campfire.”
Momma: “Won’t they catch on fire from the heat building up inside the car in the summer?”
Me: “He says they won’t, but I’m waiting for the day I walk outside and see my neighbors roasting marshmallows over the remains of my car in the driveway.”

It was a lovely day! So nice and laid back. The water was cold but the friends were warm. It felt so good to laugh a lot today. A nice way to ease the tension and stress. TJMax and I braved the cold water…..Max is just the cutest boy ever! Then we all sat by the pool and just talked.

Days like today make me realize that I mostly do appreciate being older (and wiser? maybe just a tad) now. The food is so much better and the memories in the making mean more. I sat and laughed and had a blast. At one point, everyone was talking at once I just looked at everyone and thought “lord, but I love these people!” I might not get to see everyone as much as I would wish to, but they are so dear to me and I also realized as I looked at everyone smiling and laughing and talking over one another that they are a terrific family to have and I’m lucky to have them.

Conversation floated from passing around clothes, draining Lake Winnie and moving the fish, dogs and cats and the coconut, Chuckee Cheese “whack a kid” and of course Kev’s 20 minute story that branched out into a few different tales before he finished up with a punch line (I still can’t get over that! Had me hook line and sinker…all for a joke??) and so much more. And my suspicion that Marshall and Kevin are twins separated at birth was further proved by them each saying basically the same thing 2 hours apart from one another when neither one had heard the other.

Greatness comes from the simple things. Sharing and laughing, hugging and kissing…all so simple, and yet so very fine!

Well, that’s two hours of my life I won’t get back again. What a pain in the ass!!! But, at least I can unblock the blog again. :)

I’m having sympathy pangs!!! I’m eating for 3 now….that’s my excuse…the only one I can come up with right now……other than stress that is, and stress is boring. I’m apparently eating for me, D, and the coconut. I went through a box of Krispy Kreme chocolate filled donuts in 2 days (2 DAYS!!!), I’m eating pop tarts like they are going out of style and don’t even mention the cereal and chips and lunch meat and cheese! Sheesh!!!

I’ve also been whoozy and slightly out of it for a couple of weeks now. I’m guessing that’s because of sympathy for Mad adjusting his medications. He’s been upping the new med for a 3 or 4 weeks now and as of today, he’s on full dosages of both anti-seizure meds….next week, he can start to decrease the old med. Thank goodness. My hair and my stress levels need to level out so that I lose less hair and feel calmer….the losing hair part is because I want to pull it out.

Choppy videos from a few days ago. We’ve had her for all of week now, and I’m betting she’s gained at least 20 pounds since then…the vids are from day 2.

I didn’t realize he was filming…I just thought his palm pilot thingie could take pictures, not videos. And yes, that’s our St E front yard…the Miata and Chevel in the background are his…stupid cars…taking up space. hehehehe

I have to figure out a different way to post the videos.  :)

Mad still hasn’t gotten the pics and vids from his palm pilot thingy….keep fingers crossed!!!!  Pepper pictures appearing soon!!!!